Five Toys I Loved as a Kid That I Hate as a Mom

You know those toys, the ones you always step on that make you swear. The ones that get sucked up in the vacuum and burn out the belt.

The ones that your kids will never forgive you for getting rid of.

These same toys were my favorites when I was a kid. I know my mom stepped on them several times–I’m pretty sure that’s how I learned how to swear. Now I’ve given my own children a few lessons in colorful language.

1. Legos. These were my favorite toys to play with. Hands down. (They still are–just don’t tell my son that’s why his new fighter jet is now a tricked out truck.) The smallest pieces are also talented little escape artists that feel like a dentist’s drill to those tender arches.

2. Marbles. I rocked at marbles in the school yard, and I’m sure they’re still a playground favorite for the kids who don’t spend their recess popping bubbles on their iPhones. My daughter thinks they’re pretty rocks. I think they are miniature bombs from Hell.

3. Happy Meal Toys. If I ever had one of those as a kid, it meant that we went out to eat. We were poor, and that made them special. Now that I’m a mom, I’ve set up a video surveillance system to see if I can find out how they multiply. I’m pretty sure they’ve been recruiting from the other kids in the neighborhood and are planning a coup.

4. Anything that Makes Noise. Yes, when I was a little girl, I thought it sounded like a real baby, too, and now I’m certain that the toymakers just used a recording of a dying chihuahua. When the batteries run low, I go chihuahua hunting

5. Play-Doh. When the kids keep it at the kitchen table, it’s a fun way to play. When they leave it in my hot car, it’s a Doh!

What did you always hope to see under the Christmas tree?

3 thoughts on “Five Toys I Loved as a Kid That I Hate as a Mom

  1. There are several levels of pain. Few contest with that of stepping on a lego. I can’t wait to buy my nephew tons of them. And really? Your kids play with marbles? I guess in Wisconsin they died out as more than something to put through a contraption and watch it roll. I’m hoping for a vacuum cleaner this year. A nice Dyson. Times have changed.

  2. Reblogged this on Paul Davis and commented:
    Check out this list of awesome toys, unless you’re a parent. Christine is also about to get published, despite the time demanding occupation of being a mother. Acquisition releases on the sixth of this month! Be one of the first to check it out.

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