As a woman, I have fantasies. They used to involve men and beaches and things like that, but eighteen years into being married and raising kids, they’ve morphed into scenarios that involve cleaning supplies and grocery store sales.
I want an elf like Dobbie from Harry Potter. If I had one, I’d ask him to make these things happen:
1. All the socks would have a match when they came out of the dryer.
2. The dogs would not shed or slobber.
3. The kitchen would smell like gardenias instead of garlic.
4. The dishwasher would actually clean the dishes.
5. The science fair would be canceled.
6. I would remember everything I needed on the first trip to the grocery store.
7. My husband would cook dinner and clean up.
8. Starbucks would be giving away free venti Skinny Peppermint Mochas just because.
9. The internet and cell phone service would stop working when the time my kids came home from school and then magically start working again when they were done with their chores.
10. I would be able to go pee without hearing, “Mom!”
What would you ask for?