Magic Housewife Day

As a woman, I have fantasies. They used to involve men and beaches and things like that, but eighteen years into being married and raising kids, they’ve morphed into scenarios that involve cleaning supplies and grocery store sales.

I want an elf like Dobbie from Harry Potter. If I had one, I’d ask him to make these things happen:

1. All the socks would have a match when they came out of the dryer.
2. The dogs would not shed or slobber.
3. The kitchen would smell like gardenias instead of garlic.
4. The dishwasher would actually clean the dishes.
5. The science fair would be canceled.
6. I would remember everything I needed on the first trip to the grocery store.
7. My husband would cook dinner and clean up.
8. Starbucks would be giving away free venti Skinny Peppermint Mochas just because.
9. The internet and cell phone service would stop working when the time my kids came home from school and then magically start working again when they were done with their chores.
10. I would be able to go pee without hearing, “Mom!”

What would you ask for?


8 thoughts on “Magic Housewife Day

  1. Someone else would worry about socks, laundry, and matching. And grocery shopping and cooking and cleaning. Starbucks venti mochas would melt body fat and tone flab–scratch that, would be the fountain of youth that gave me back my 17 year old body and metabolism. Dream bigger, sister! ( I know, it’s almost attainable that glitters just out of reach, right?)

  2. 1) The kids not insisting Mummy do every single thing for them, and hissy fitting when Daddy tries to help.

    2) The kids not harassing Mummy to do every little thing for them, even the ones they can do themselves.

    2) The kids not waiting for the exact moment that Mummy sits down before asking her to get up to do something for them.

  3. Another perspective from a father and now grandfather with his last soon leaving home soon. (Believe me Christine, when we had 4 kids under 8 I had many similar sentiments as you.)
    I used to dream of not tripping over bikes and strollers. I used to dream of having a few quiet moments with my sweetheart–if nothing else just to talk and catch our breath. But now I miss those bikes on the lawn and the rides we used to take and the kid’s sense of wonder at everthing on our ride. I miss the kids waking me up on Sat. AM saying, “Get up dad…hurry….the skis are on the car and the hot chocolate is ready….we need to leave now to be the first on the lift…y’know…first tracts down the mountain. I miss the questions at meal time. I miss muddy faces and small dirt foot prints on the kitchen floor. I miss kids jumping in our bed and night….tell us another story…c’mon just one more….sleeping is for old people….yer not that old. I miss the hugs and butterfly kisses. I miss curling up on the couch with the kids, the dog, some toys and stuff and watching kid movies.
    (It is not all bad because I am reliving some these things with my kid’s kids).

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