Human UN-condition-al.

I rarely express an opinion about anything religious or political. Hell, I rarely blog at all because I’d rather be doing any of a million other things.

But today is a different day. Today, with the country spinning on over the Supreme Court ruling to legalize gay marriage, my social media has been overrun with the topic. That doesn’t bother me. There’s always some form of opinionated roller coaster on the web. What bothers me is that people are taking this so personally, even those who claim to have open minds unfriending those with different opinions and not even seeing the hypocrisy. Really?

When my first son was born, my husband and I sat in the congregation of our church and listened to a talk on the importance of marrying someone of the same religion. Now, to be honest, I rarely listened closely to talks in church because I’m a day dreamer and it’s really hard to stay awake in a warm room with someone droning on in a monotone. I didn’t pay very close attention, at least not to the details, and I have a bad habit of ignoring details I don’t like anyway.

When the meeting was over, we walked home. On the way, my husband asked what we were going to do if our son wanted to marry someone of a different religion.

Well, I told him that it wouldn’t matter if she were purple and from another planet, we would tell him congratulations and throw them a big wedding because he was happy. And we would do that because our love for our child was unconditional.


Hold your child (or borrow one, I suppose) and imagine his or her wedding day. Smiling, literally beaming with love. You walk them down the aisle and place their hand in the hand of the one they love. Now, if the one they love is of the same gender, would you take your child’s hand away and tell them they can’t have that? Would you wipe away their smile? Shame them for that love?

I’ve seen parents who can’t tell their kid ‘no’ when they’re standing at the checkout in the grocery store and the kid asks to have five candy bars. They would tell that child they can’t marry someone, anyone, who makes them smile and laugh and feel whole?

We call it the ‘human condition,’ but being human is not a condition. It is unconditional. Love, grief, passion…our human right to those is what the Constitution calls ‘inalienable.’ Anyone who begrudges another human being those experiences, or recognition of those experiences, has not learned to love themselves unconditionally. They are not expressing judgment of another so much as they are expressing an incongruity within their own soul.

So do it. Look inside. What’s the un-condition of your soul?

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