Zombie Pearl Girl Gets Lonely

Zombie Button Boy and Zombie Pearl Girl ate all the people in Buttonville. They laid down in the middle of Thread Avenue and watched the lights turn from green to red to yellow and back to green.

They were as happy as two zombie button people could be except for one problem. Zombie Pearl Girl was lonely. She tried talking to Zombie Button Boy, but he only talked in single syllable words and Zombie Pearl Girl wanted to have a real conversation with someone.

“I know!” Zombie Pearl Girl sat up in the middle of Thread Avenue. “I’ll find the evil Giant Sparkly and get it to turn us back into regular Button Boy and regular Pearl Girl!”

Then she realized that Zombie Button Boy had always used single syllable words even when he had been regular Button Boy. She flopped back down onto the pavement and sighed.

“I know!” She sat up again. “I’ll find the evil Giant Sparkly and turn me back into regular Pearl Girl and find new button people to be my friends.”

She lumbered to her zombie button feet and headed back past the hospital and out of town through the fields where their giant crow Rapunzel had eaten the evil Giant Sparkly and pooped it out. Zombie Pearl Girl found the evil Giant Sparkly in some bushes. It was still covered in crow poop, but she didn’t care because she was a zombie.

But Zombie Pearl Girl had a different problem. Actually, she had two problems, the first of which was that Zombie Button Boy had followed her from Buttonville and kept yelling ‘Argh!’ That made it a little hard for her to think. Zombie Pearl Girl’s second problem was that she had no idea what to do with the evil Giant Sparkly to make it turn her back into regular Pearl Girl.

“Argh!” Zombie Button Boy stomped through the bushes, scaring all of the squirrels.

Zombie Pearl Girl needed time to think about the evil Giant Sparkly, so she wrapped her arms around the gem and carried it to Buttonville. She went all the way to her high rise condominium in the center of town, rode the elevator to the top floor, and set the Giant Sparkly on her coffee table. She thought about putting it on her couch, but she figured that her non-zombie self would be really mad at her zombie self for getting poop on the couch.

“Argh!” Zombie Button Boy got off the elevator behind her.

She slammed the door and locked it. Zombie Pearl Girl didn’t want Zombie Button Boy to interfere with convincing the evil Giant Sparkly to turn her back into a regular button person.

Zombie Pearl Girl stared at the evil Giant Sparkly on her coffee table for a long time. A very long time. Or at least she thought so, but she wasn’t sure because zombies are very bad at telling time.

And she had no idea what to do. But it was a very pretty Giant Sparkly. Well, it had been prettier before Rapunzel ate it and pooped it out.

“I know!” She jumped up in excitement. (Or rather lurched since that’s what zombies do.) “I’ll give it a bath!” Then she cringed because she realized that she was speaking in only single-syllable words like Zombie Button Boy.

But she refused, REFUSED to Argh!

Zombie Pearl Girl put the Giant Sparkly in a bathtub full of lavender and chamomile scented suds. She let it soak for a few minutes (or maybe longer since she was still a zombie and still bad at judging time), then she scrubbed it with a body pouf and sang it zombie songs until the suds were all gone.

After she dried it off, Zombie Pearl Girl put the Giant Sparkly next to her on the couch. She marveled at how beautiful it was. Now that it was clean, it turned different colors again. Pink, purple, blue, green…all of Zombie Pearl Girl’s favorite hues.


Zombie Pearl Girl popped zombie popcorn and ordered zombie pizza (that never arrived since everyone in Buttonville had been eaten) and played movies for her and her beautiful evil Giant Sparkly.

“I love you, Giant Sparkly!” she exclaimed, giving the jewel a big hug.

And with all that love, the Giant Sparkly turned back into a good sparkly and with its sparkling magic turned Zombie Pearl Girl back into regular Pearl Girl.


The End

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