Button Boy watched the squirrels in the park for hours on end. The squirrels climbed the cute button trees and blinked their cute button eyes and ate their cute button nuts.
The squirrels were cute. The squirrels were having fun. The squirrels were happy.
As the sun set, the squirrels all scurried up into the trees and settled in their cute little squirrel holes for the night. When the last button squirrel disappeared into its button tree hole, Button Boy sighed and walked home to his lonely apartment on the ground floor of a dirty little complex in the socio-economically challenged neighborhood of Bare Threads.
Button Boy nuked a frozen meal of cheesy noodles and broccoli and plopped on his worn button couch. He turned on the television to watch his favorite evening gameshow, Button or Bust. But the television screen was nothing but a black and white storm.
Shoot, Button Boy hit the power button on the remote. He looked down at his empty frozen meal tray and sighed. He didn’t remember actually eating the cheesy noodles, but he was sure they had tasted yummy. He didn’t remember eating the broccoli, either, but he wasn’t sure that it had been as good as the cheesy noodles.
He shrugged. Might as well climb into his lumpy button bed and try to get some sleep so that he could wake up at the break of dawn to watch the squirrels climb out of their button tree holes.
Button Boy closed his little button eyes and listened to the neighbors fighting upstairs. Soon he was dreaming about the happy button squirrels in their pretty button trees.
He woke up with an idea! He wanted to be a squirrel!
Button Boy jumped out of his lumpy button bed and ran out of his apartment.
“I’m going to be a squirrel!” he shouted to everyone he passed on his way to the park. (He only passed two button people—a sanitation engineer driving a trash truck, and a drunk stumbling home from the bar—so really he only shouted that twice, but it was equally exciting both times.)
When Button Boy arrived at the park, the squirrels were just coming out of their little button holes and sniffing the clear morning air.
Button Boy was so excited, he almost popped a button from his pajamas! He followed the squirrels all day and tried to do all the squirrel things. He tried to scamper and scurry, but his button hands and feet were too clunky to do it the cute way the squirrels did it. He tried to climb the tree, but his button hands and feet just slipped off the bark. He tried to twitter to make new squirrel friends, but he sounded more like a whale than a squirrel and he scared them all back into their holes.
By the end of the day, Button Boy sank to the ground, his button cheeks full of nuts he couldn’t crack open with his clumsy button hands and his button heart lonelier than ever before because now the squirrels wouldn’t even come out of their trees.
Button Boy’s heart hurt. He was sad. He had been so sure he had wanted to be a squirrel. He hung his head and started to cry.
Just then he heard a strange squawk. He looked up, thinking it was Rapunzel the giant crow. But, no! It was an ostrich, squawking its merry button way down Thread Avenue.
His button heart lifted. He would be an ostrich! He spit out the nuts and leapt to his button feet, and squawked his way down Thread Avenue behind the ostrich.
Already he could tell this was going much better than trying to be a squirrel.